Badass Is Beautiful

Katherin Switzer, Mary Barra, Hilary Clinton, Grethe Rask, Jane Hodgson. A lot of these names, with the exception of Hilary Clinton, a lot of us may not know.  I’m not going to lie, I googled 2 of them.   Miley Cyrus, Selena Gomez, and the too famous Kim Kardashian.  The first group of women actually did something beneficial for women and continue to do so, while the others are just ridiculous.  Jane Hodgson, she was the first doctor ever convicted for performing an abortion. High five for standing up for womens right.  Miley Cyrus, humped a foam finger onstage, congratulations.  Katherin Switzer, the first woman to compete with a number in the Boston Marathon, 5 years before women were officially allowed to compete in it.  Race officials actually tried to remove her mid race.  Poor man just wasn’t up to par with her physical abilities.  Selena Gomez, Grammy winner?  More like lip synchs to computer made songs.  Mary Barra, first woman CEO of any major auto company.  Given I don’t think she’s doing the best job, but she got there.  Grethe Rask worked as a surgeon in the Congo and set up her own hospital village.  Could you imagine the monster size mosquitoes that woman had to fight off.  Kim Kardashian, she released a sex tape, and not a very good one.  My social media was full of pictures of her very fake and photoshopped ass.  I don’t see a lot of post of Diem Brown, she lost her battle with cancer at 32.  #cancersucks.  Now, if Kim Kardashian wants to strip down to her birthday suit for everyone to see, that’s her choice.  Actually, more power to her…I’ve never really been a fan of pants either.  The issue is this is what our society chooses to glorify.  Ms. Kardashian was very proud of her ability to balance a champagne glass on her back side.  Girl, put that away.  If I had a daughter, I wouldn’t want her thinking that’s something she could put on a resume or thinking that was an actual skill.  I can probably balance a beer bottle on my pudge, that’s nothing special.  Instead of putting the spotlight on women who are actual role models, we teach young girls that twerking on stage is the way to go in the life…and then wonder why they end up strippers.  We glorify stupidity, image, and fat asses (with the exception of Miley) as examples of what they should strive for.

I will tell you this, I’m grateful for women like JLO and Kim for giving thick women the confidence to be thick women.  When I was a teen, sexy was a pale and very skinny size zero.  I was of the thick Cuban genes , with tanned skin, and black hair…that wasn’t going to happen.  I was never really comfortable in my own skin until society said, hey it’s ok to be thick.  Sad, I know. But now you have to have a thick bottom, with a thigh gap, and teeny tiny top.  You know what, screw that and every shape women are supposed to fit.  My cankles aren’t going anywhere, my thighs will always be a little (or a lot) big and if they touch, they touch! But I’ll tell you this, I am fit, I am healthy, and I really do try to eat clean (sometimes dessert is just too good).  I exercise more than just daily…maybe more than the recommend.  I may not have a six pack, but I look at the body I’ve been given and I am proud of it.  It lets me do what I love day in and day out.   I shouldn’t be shaming it.  We need to stop telling women what they should look like and celebrate being healthy.  I shouldn’t look in the mirror and want to change pieces of me (which does happen a lot).

What’s led to my women empowerment rant?  Kim’s bum all over my newsfeed and I’m very excited and honored to be selected to be a Betty in 2015.  Betty Designs (www.bettydesigns.com) is a line of women’s triathlon and cycling clothing.  But it’s become a little more than that.  It’s become a brand that inspires women, of all shapes and sizes, to be fit and active.  It spreads the attitude that badass is beautiful, strong is beautiful and I get to represent this.  I’m thrilled and grateful to be a part of a group of women who have the same passions and mentality.   I’m a Betty ~ AddingMoMiles.

All in a Moment

We hear a lot that we should cherish every moment, enjoy every moment, live in the moment, etc etc.  For the most part we think these moments create memories, maybe to look back and remember; this may be true. But at the same time it’s the feeling in that moment, even those awful ones we so wish we can forget, that may have the biggest impact in our lives.

There are moments that shake your very soul, you feel a change in your perspective on thoughts you lived by, on hopes that got you through the day in what can be a pretty harsh world. This may be one of the hardest to process.

There are moments you realize how deeply you love someone, that their pain becomes your own.  That moment you realize that they are no longer a friend, but family.

There are moments you realize your own strength, your ability to persist when most people would crumble.  This is a feeling you should keep with you until you’re six feet under.

There are moments you realize how much you truly love your significant other, and it’s usually not this grand exhibition of romance, but when they moon you from the kitchen or listen to Frank Sinatra.

There are moments that change the way you see a person.  At times it’s for the better (this is rare).  Other times, you feel the stab in the back…or worse the heart.  There are few feelings worse than losing respect for someone you cherished. This may sting the most.

There are moments in life where you take a deep breath and think life is pretty f’ing good.  That feeling deserves a good drink and an even better song.

There are moments that you feel a punch in the gut, nauseated and wish at that moment the Earth would open up and swallow you whole.  It’s the time you should refer back to a moment of perseverance.

There are moments of such anger you feel your blood is boiling.  Stop what you’re doing, put the phone down, walk away…words said in anger can never be taken back.  They can be forgiven but never forgotten.

There are moments you are wrong, do wrong, or temporarily become another person. You feel pretty shitty, for lack of a better word.  We are human, ask for forgiveness and forgive yourself. The rest is left up to time.

There are moments you feel overwhelming happiness, you can’t help but do a little dance.  Treasure it, it makes it all worthwhile.

There are moments you meet someone you feel will change your life, sometimes it is nothing more than a mutual love for pizza or for boys that love bikes.

There are moments you feel a sense of clarity, what you’re supposed to do in a given moment, what your next move is.  It may even come on the corner of a street, in the middle of your run.

It’s not always the actual moments that shape us into who we are or change us, but the feelings at that moment.  ~Adding Mo Miles

 

Hello 28

 

I’m turning 28!! I’m still processing the fact that I graduated highschool 10 years ago, but you know what, I still fit into my prom dress so it’s kind of ok. It may sound weird, but I’m enjoying growing older. Early twenties were filled with doubt, awkward moments, and completely self involved. I like where I am at this point in my life, worked hard to get here. I remember birthday celebrations consisted of two week long celebrations, 7 new outfits, an itinerary of events, lots of alcohol and some serious hip hop video dance moves. This year, there may still be small amount of alcohol, but it’s mostly to numb the pain of my birthday weekend training schedule. One thing doesn’t change, getting together to celebrate with my favorites.

Yes, I am still training this weekend. I’m gonna be wildin’ out on my bike poppin’ bottles of Heed.  Why wouldn’t I do something I love to do on my birthday? I mean, secretly I’m wishing it was a little shorter; a 3:45 brick…Happy Birthday MO!! I can’t think of a time in the last 4 years that a birthday has stopped me from working out and that’s not changing this year. This birthday is a little bit special cause it comes with a new job. I’m pretty much starting an entire new chapter and it is exactly what I wanted and needed; a clean slate. I made myself a promise in April that I would not be where I was at that moment when I was blowing out my candles and I accomplished just that. And the plus side, my training has improved! (pause for dance) Mostly where I am mentally, but I can definitely feel myself more focused. Not that I have much leeway, less than three months left!!! (crap)

So what do I want in my 28^th year of my so called life? Lets start with becoming an Ironman. Duh.  Fun, I want this year to be about joy, good times, laughing hard again and just living in the moment (while slightly keeping an eye on my future goals). Unpausing my career and focusing on that new position (on that grind).  Visit somewhere I have yet to go (and Louisville, Kentucky doesn’t count). A PR baby, common I wouldn’t be an athlete if that wasn’t in there. A pull-up! For the love of god I will get a pull-up! Go back to enjoying the little things the way I use to, I felt like my life was on pause. So here’s to a weekend of guiltless large amounts of cake, maybe a cheeseburger, my peeps, and blowing out 28 candles ~ Adding Mo Miles

 

To Mom and Dad.

With Mother’s Day in two days and my dad’s birthday yesterday it got me thinking of how much I appreciate what they’ve done for me and what they’ve given me. My parents and I have never seen eye to eye. They are religious, traditional, and conservative…I am quite the opposite. My parents are not perfect, they’ve hurt me (and I them), and I don’t think they always know what’s best for me. They’re human but god knows they tried their best to give me everything and I will be eternally grateful. I can never say that my parents and I had this great relationship. It took years after I left the religion to build something genuine with them now, but that doesn’t mean I am not thankful for so much.

Thank you for teaching me to be independent. I know how to manage my money, do my laundry, cook a full meal and manage my life because you taught me this. I can build and care for a home. My mom still claims I don’t know how to clean.

I know what I want and don’t want from a relationship and a marriage. I now know what it takes to get thru the worse moments, I know when to tough it out and when to throw in the towel and say enough is enough.   My dad has always told me to learn from others mistakes so you don’t make them. I’ve learned the importance of communication and how I want to communicate with my significant other, never belittle them.

Thank you for letting me run around barefoot, climb fences, play football, spend my days fishing on a boat, and just be me. Mom, I’m still upset you took away my toy cars. Thank you for not making me wear pants at home and letting me roam in my underwear. You just let me be a kid. It is always hard to explain to others how great my childhood was.  Some people just won’t understand, they wore shoes.

Dad, thank you for engraining in me the importance of an education, a career, savings, and building a life before I start a family of my own. You taught me it was ok to put these things first regardless of what tradition told me. Mom, sorry, he won.

Thank you for not solving all my problems and not doing everything for me. You prepared me for reality. Thank you for your tough love, never sugar coating, and always being honest. “Life is full of disappointments” is my fathers favorite line. But thank you for being there when I really did need you. It’s like you knew when I got myself in over my head. Thank you for letting me make my own mistakes and not judging me and always managing a good “I told you so!”

I know I have disappointed them, I did not choose the life they wanted for me, and I gave them a lot of grey hair. I, apparently was a “wild” child. But their support has never changed. Even as angry as my mother was with me, she still helped me move into my first apartment.  Mostly she sat on a box in my empty living room with her hand crossed saying my place was old. My mother is crazy and my dad is Rosa stubborn, we still fight, disagree, and I constantly make decisions they’re not happy with but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate them, love them any less and don’t listen to your advice. Looking back, the words thank you don’t seem like enough, but thank you.  Thank you for driving me crazy sometimes, I know you’re returning the favor. ~ Adding Mo Miles

Two Cents

A lot of people seem to love to giving their two cents and for the most part no one really cares for their spare change. Yes, pun intended. I can count the people on my hands whose opinion and advice I actually appreciate and take into consideration. They aren’t trying to change what I want to what they perceive I should be doing. Plus, they usually have this keen sense on when I want advice and when I don’t. So here’s my honest answer on a lot of the “cents” I’ve received lately, without asking for it.

Most comments or “advice” revolve around my training, how I balance it, my relationship status, lack of husband or future child. I can honestly say growing up my goal in life was never to get married, buy a house, and have 2.5 children. Everyone has their own goals. If that’s what you want, I’m supporting it. My goal was to create a life that I was genuinely satisfied with, become a good strong woman on my own. Build a life I was happy with; enjoy the process of doing this and when the time was right that relationship, the marriage, and the home would come. I never set an age for this or a determined time because I don’t think you can; it will come at the right time.

I’m training too much. Well, it’s the same amount of hours you sit on the couch, playing video games, or doing whatever else you fancy. People feel the need to impose their way of living on others. In general, I don’t tell you go wake up and train at 5:30am if it isn’t what you enjoy. I will tell you this; a little exercise goes a long way.

You don’t go out enough, you need to get out more, and you aren’t going to meet new people. In general, people suck, so I don’t feel the need to meet new ones. I go out every day with my friends, its called training. We talk about our lives, we tell jokes, and we laugh. Isn’t this what you do when you go out with friends? We even have a few drinks, protein shakes, recovery, and the occasional mimosa to celebrate a good training. Why would I give up doing something I love, to do something I occasionally enjoy. But thank you for your concern with my social life.

You can’t be friends with your ex. I think you’re wrong, but what do I know. If there was a close friendship before the relationship, that doesn’t mean that aspect needs to end because the relationship didn’t work. It is one of my most cherished friendships and I don’t feel that it should be thrown away. Real, sincere, and honest friendships are hard to come by, they mean so much to me. It may take me longer to move on, yes but I’m in no hurry.  To me the hardest part of the end of a relationship is the loss of a friend. It beats being filled with anger, hate, and sadness. Forgiveness and move forward.

I sit and wonder what makes others have the need to dictate others lives. Everyone has their own chosen path and we may not agree with it but we should respect it. What religion or societal norms say I should do with my life is not important to me. It’s the kind of person I am and surrounded by that are. As the girls say, haters gonna hate. ~AddingMoMiles

 

Lessons Learned

My life has changed significantly over the last year. It’s actually kind of shocking to me how much it has. I’ve changed over the last year. These changes have not been easy. Look Ma, I’m an adult. Lessons and things learned:

This girl can cook! I got bored of chicken and steam bagged veggies so I started putting some work in the kitchen. I was impressed with myself. No roman noodles here!

You got bills, on top of bills, and then more bills (yup, a Destiny’s child song). So you log on to your bank account and wonder where the hell the money went!?

Save. There will come a month that you will need it. Dad, you were right. Happy? I admitted it!

Once you lose respect for someone, it’s hard to see them the same. Sometimes we hold people in such high regards or witness them do something you never thought they were capable of. I’m not sure what’s worse, losing trust or losing respect.

Wine = bestfriend. Lots of long days and a glass or two (or the whole bottle) goes a long way. Don’t have the bottle though, it leads to angry text messages.

Never lose yourself in someone else’s problems. They are not your own. You can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. You have your own to deal with.

Your real friends don’t judge you or your mistakes. They just don’t. They have your back regardless of the stupid things you do (usually more than once) and they’re there…with wine.

Let go of your regrets, they’ll eat at you. Just let it freakin’ go. I can’t change what I did or the decisions I made, so what’s the point?

Say I love you, say it over and over again regardless of whether they say it back or feel it. Just say how you feel with no fear. You may not get it in return but you can walk away knowing you said everything you felt. I’ve turned into a sap apparently.

Get up and train! Regardless of how you feel, get the f up and train.

You can never make someone see their own worth and what they deserve. Hey, you want to settle, go ahead. All you can do is remind them. For the love of god people, stop settling in life.

A new appreciation for the support I receive from my parents. Regardless of my decisions they have supported me, they have been there for me and not everyone has that. Thank you. This is the first time I can openly talk to them about relationships, careers, and what I’m facing. This is the one change in the last year I am most grateful for. My mom is still angry I moved out though.

Don’t lose yourself in love. Don’t lose a part of yourself for someone else. Don’t lose yourself period. And if you do, grab a drink and go find yourself again.

Some things aren’t meant to be, dwelling on them or trying to explain them won’t help. Once you learn to come terms with things faster, you live life easier. Shit happens, it’s the way it is.

Some people just don’t have a pair.

The problems you have won’t mean much 5 years from now. Five years ago I was stressing about my current boo, now I laugh about it…and a little at him.

Regardless, life is always good. ~Adding Mo Miles.

How old am I?

I’m convinced I’m an old lady. Here’s the proof:

 

• I can’t eat too late it keeps me up.
• Going out Sunday thru Thursday, not happening.
• Is that heart burn?
• I pee every 15 minutes.
• It’s 11 o’clock…wow it’s late.
• I’m at Publix on a Saturday night.  Not buying goodies (ok maybe wine) for a party but doing groceries.
• I’m doing more research on vitamins than weekend events.
• I forgot what vodka taste like.
• “The music is too loud”
• My ears are still ringing.
• I can’t believe kids these days.
• Girls night… at Starbucks.
• My party dresses have collected a layer of dust.
• Tea for everything: digestion, nerves, sleep, detox. Tea, tea, tea.
• PJs > Dress
• DVR > Movies
• Savings > Shopping
• Date night = Pizza and PJs (my favorite)
• Hangover = 3 days
• I’m repeating my mother’s sayings
• How much for a pair of heels??
• Shots????
• What’s good on a Friday night?…. No idea.
• Dinner at 10pm, who does that?
• Everything my dad has told me makes sense.
• I follow my instincts.
• Can no longer sleep in past 9am.
• Nights out are planned weeks in advance.
• I no longer need the Bank of America number for a new debit card after most weekends.
• I can read a mans bullshit.
• I feel odd shopping at Forever21.
• Routine…I like it.
• My group of friends is small and I prefer it that way.
• I’m reading up on wrinkle cream
• I wear lots sunblock and a pamela (aka sun hat) to the beach

And I wouldn’t want it any other way. ❤

 

Rollercoaster

I love food.  Foods covered in melted cheese, giant desserts dripping in chocolate sauce, and big plates of arroz con frijoles.  All accompanied by an ice cold beer.  I’m not ashamed to admit it.  So it’s no surprise that sticking to a clean diet is difficult for me, for most actually.  I’m in a constant battle between food and not wanting to gain weight.  By nature, or due to my Hispanic genes, I am not meant to be thin.  There’s not thigh gap here baby!! Just lots to love 🙂  My family is full of thick women and a fair share of overweight members.  So staying at a certain weight and size is difficult and requires an extensive amount of work and dedication for me.  I know I am not alone!  

So when I say I am finally reaching my goal weight people look at me like I’m crazy, cause I’ve been working out for so long.  Well, let me tell you it’s been a rollercoaster for this girl.  In the last 5 years, I’ve been up and down in weight and size.  In my closet you’ll find sizes that range from 4 to 10.  In the last 5 years I have been at my heaviest and I have been to the point where I can almost see an ab.  I unfortunately fall off the wagon, many times.  It could be for many reasons, I get tired, work, lazy, a new relationship, or I just want to “enjoy” life for a while.  All excuses of course, but at the end of the day I regress in my fitness. I give up. I’m not that strong willed and I feel like I have to start over again each time.

For me my fitness journey has been a struggle of highs and serious lows.  It has brought me to tears in frustration when I’m not seeing results of my hard work or when I see that I let my hard work go to waste.  At the end of the day what matters the most is that I get back on the wagon.  It took me years to find what worked for me, clean eating (screw diets!), the occasional indulgence (pizza), and regular exercise of both weights and cardio.  Unfortunately stress and weight loss for me go hand in hand, so I have to make sure I keep my mind healthy as well.  Fitness is hard, frustrating and never ending work………..never ending! Some body parts just don’t want to stop jiggling.  ~ Adding Mo Miles.

The Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness, everyone’s working towards it. Including myself, especially lately. It’s a common question, what makes me happy?  Followed by, how do I get it?  Happiness is relative and it means different things to people.  To some it’s love, friendship, success, power, or sadly money.  But if you really think about it, happiness requires a level of selfishness and courage.  To a certain degree, happiness is selfish. At some point it comes at sacrifice of someone else. 

So to what degree do you sacrifice your own happiness for someone else?  I’ve seen that this comes easier for some than it does for others.  I’ve witnessed this in parents; I’ve seen this in spouses and couples.  I’m not talking about something little like giving up the last slice of pizza, I’m talking about staying with someone to avoid hurting them or because you vowed to, even if you know for a fact you aren’t happy and will no longer be happy.

It has always come easy for me to put my happiness first because honestly speaking, who else will.  If I’m not happy for an extended period of time, the relationship won’t be healthy. I can’t make someone happy if I am unhappy.  My happiness has come at the sacrifice of my family’s happiness.  I made a choice to no longer practice the religion I was born into.  To my parents and others, this was devastating.  I came to terms with this because I knew I didn’t want to look back and know that I spent all of my life unhappy and just content for other people.  Some very tough years later, I have the best relationship I’ve ever had with my parents. 

I’ve learned that happiness is sometimes purely on how you see things.  The stars aren’t always going to align, lets be realistic.  But if you can look at your life and see that most of your moments are happy, you’re surrounded by a lot of what you want, then you’re not half bad. It is those things you must focus on in the unhappy moments.  It is all up to you. If there is something that you aren’t happy about, it is up to you to change it, put your big girl panties, grab life by the balls, and do something about it. I am. ~ Adding Mo Miles

 

Iron What?

There comes a point in your life where you need a change.  Why?  You’re bored, feel unaccomplished, or you woke up one morning and realized you just weren’t satisfied.  I am the kind of person that needs a goal, something to work towards and lately I’ve been doing none of that (more like losing my mind).  I needed a challenge, I needed a change, and I needed something that will take every ounce of my effort. I like to say I’m 70% Type A personality and 30% Type B.  I’m sure many psychologists out there would say that’s not possible. So I did what any logical person would do, I signed up for an Ironman.  Not just any Ironman, one of the most challenging in the US, Ironman Louisville. 

It took me some time to work up to it but once I made the decision, I was surprisingly calm clicking the confirm button.  Well, if you call reaching your maximum heart rate calm.  But to me this is absolutely insane, so I knew I needed to document it.  I have to let out the ups and downs, the anecdotes, challenges, and of course the insanity of it all.  I’m sure you’re thinking “Great, here’s another blog of some triathlete posting how many hours they did on the bike, how far, their heart rate, kilowatts, total calories consumed, etc.”  I highly doubt you’ll get that from me, because for the most part I don’t keep an extensive detail of my heart rate at mile 65 and at 21 mph, nor do I care.  It’s to share the everyday adventures of a fairly newbie traithlete balancing hours of training, a full-time plus job, her Que Pasa USA replica of a family, a fabulous group of lady friends, her almost nonexistent social life, and all other madness.

It’s also to let those out there like me know you are not alone, there are more crazies just like you.  My fellow age groupers that stumbled into the hobby by sheer coincidence, fell in love with it and now are staring at your Ironman e-mail confirmation thinking “what the hell did I just do.” I can’t promise it will always be pretty, grammatically correct (I love run-on sentences) or always revolve around triathlons (shockingly, I have other interest) but I can try to make them as amusing as possible.  Fair warning, triathlon training can get pretty gross; it’s smelly, you try spending 4 hours in the sun and smell like roses.  You find things like old banana peels you forgot in the pockets of your transition bag, or turns out that mystery smell in your car is a pair of socks you from your double brick a week ago. 

This isn’t to pat myself on the back “I’m doing an Ironman”, but as a motivation.  Find motivation from the online community of athletes, to see my progress over the months (and the breakdowns).  I am no coach, far from an expert, and take a lot of what I say with a grain of salt. So hopefully readers never take offense to my blunt honesty, occasional slang and enjoy my post in the morning over coffee ….or in the car at a red light.  ~ Adding Mo Miles.